Get-to-know-you discipling questions



Feb 11


Suzie Botross

How do you select people that you can disciple?

Disciplers must choose carefully the type of people they invest in. Selection is essential for the long-term effectiveness of the process. Jesus prayed and selected His disciples carefully. Paul instructed Timothy to look for people who are faithful (character) and able (competence) to teach others also (2 Timothy 2:2).

So, what do you look for in the type of people you seek to disciple?

In a recent training workshop, disciplers affiliated with GenJ documented important considerations involved when looking for someone to disciple. We formulated two lists; one called The Green Lights and one called The Red Lights.

We would love to share these with you. Much of the ideas included in this blog come from the insights of experienced disciplers and from the principles found in the New Testament (Luke 10:5-12, 2 Timothy 2:2, 3:10-17, Philipians 3:15-17).

The Green Lights  – Signs to look for:

  1. Look for someone who has a desire to grow spiritually. You will ascertain this through their words, their spiritual hunger and through their humility and teachability.
  2. Ensure that there is an alignment of values. For example, if you value optimism, you may clash with someone who is overly melancholic.
  3. Look out for chemistry because it’s important that you enjoy the time you spend with those you disciple so that there is flow, comfort and synergy as you relate and engage.
  4. Look for someone who has the potential to invest in others. This requires them to have the time and the willingness to invest, not just the good intentions.
  5. Notice people who engage well, are relational and reciprocate honest conversations.
  6. Someone who loves and respects you and the way you live your life with Jesus. It is impossible to disciple someone who doesn’t value your life or who believes they already know everything you have to offer.

The Red Lights  – Signs to avoid:

  1.  Someone who is not serious about growing spiritually or is reluctant to build spiritual habits.
  2. People who seem proud, unteachable or independent. A healthy discipling relationship involves support and challenge and so it’s crucial to ask yourself how you think that person may respond with your honest feedback in future.
  3. Any discomfort or apprehension in your Spirit. Be sure to stop, pray and reflect on it further to gain God’s wisdom.
  4. Someone who is content with where they currently sit in their spiritual journey.
  5. When conversations feel more strained than natural.
  6. Someone who doesn’t have an interest in multiplication and sees the discipleship relationship as a one-way-receiving relationship only.
  7. A person who doesn’t share transparently and is often closed off and reserved in what they share and how they portray themselves
  8. Someone who you don’t share a mutual chemistry with and where the relationship feels forced.
  9. Someone who is more interested in a pastoral care person that a discipler.

Can you think of other considerations that you would like to add to these lists?